Judas. The traitor. The betrayer. One of the most vilified, hated and condemned men in all of Christendom. Contentious and controversial. However we look at him, we have to concede he was necessary, if not essential. But why was he necessary? And why was it Judas specifically who had to perpetrate the most heinous crime against the Son of God? With a kiss on the cheek, and 30 pieces of silver in his pocket, he sealed Jesus's fate to the Cross. We are led to believe that this event in the story of the Passion, was the catalyst that set events in motion for Jesus to secure the Salvation of Man. It was a mere stepping stone, a formality that needed to happen for something greater to occur. A mere bump in the road and nothing more. What if it was something greater and more important than we realise? What if it was actually meant to be the end....Jesus's end? What if the betrayal was supposed to have precipitated Jesus's suicide?
Judas was one of the original 12 apostles. By all accounts he was a back-bench apostle. A common low life thief, basically the weakest link who, because of his character, filled the roll of betrayer perfectly. Jesus correctly prophesied it would be him and we have accepted the prophecy based on the character of Judas. He was apparently not very admired as the rest and as proof, is always listed last when the apostles are named in the Canonical books of the Bible. What if the exact opposite is true? What if Judas was the most important, trusted and loved apostle? The Book of Judas, a Non Canonical book, suggests that this was in fact the case. Was this the real reason it was omitted from the Canonical Bible we know? The Book of Judas states that Judas was the only apostle to be taught the true teachings of Jesus. If he was more important to Jesus than we have previously acknowledged, then it changes the dynamic of the betrayal and how we have come to understand its significance.
The betrayal of Jesus becomes significant in that for the first time, as a human, he would have felt emotional pain being inflicted upon him by one of his own. For that emotional pain to be severe, it would have to have been done by someone held in his high regard, greatest esteem and be dearly loved. Jesus would come to know and understand first hand intimately the pain of being betrayed and its effect on the emotional state of a human. This is what he came to heal, the emotional state of humanity. He could not have healed emotional pain with only physical. In being betrayed he would come to feel disappointment, sorrow, anger, despair, angst, rage, hate, all the negative aspects of the human emotional spectrum. He would have come to see these negative emotional vibrations pervasive throughout humanity. If you have ever been betrayed, you know the anguish it causes and creates. Jesus, being human, would have experienced the same effect. Having had a dagger penetrate his heart, he would have seen the daggers in everyone else's. The devastation of what He saw emotionally could have dragged Him to the brink. It could have overwhelmed him, and been too much for one man to bear. At least I think that is what the devil would have wanted. The devil would have used the betrayal to break Jesus emotionally, and thus prevent the salvation of man from happening.
When we heal ourselves, we heal others. Jesus was to take the negative emotional condition of all humanity on His shoulders and take it to The Cross, for it to be healed Spiritually. Instead of becoming overwhelmed by the betrayal, He became a Mighty Fortress to fight for the Salvation of Man and stand against the wickedness and evil in the world. To take His own emotional human pain as a token for all of mankind's, He surrendered it to God so that we may live eternally. Instead of having the betrayal break Him, as it does to so many of us, it galvanised Him. It fortified Him, strengthened His resolve, gave Him the conviction of God to sacrifice His life, so that in His release, so too was our sin and the pain it inflicts upon us. He took all the accumulation of negativity in the world with Him to Calvary, He healed us emotionally and spiritually. He did so with bravery and passion, for the Love He has for His Children, and for this we are always Blessed and grateful.
I have taken solace in Him, in dealing with my own betrayal. At the end of 2016, beginning 2017, I was hungry for love. The devil saw this as a perfect opportunity to present himself as an all you can eat buffet, and I was so blinded by love that I ate like there was no tomorrow. The idiom, a hungry heart eats many lies, rings too true in my case. I thought God had answered my prayers and sent the love of my life. Instead it was the devil masquerading as love. With everything the devil does, the enchantment does not hold and soon enough the spell began to lift. When I looked at what was being served up with true eyes, I saw decay, rotting, putrid and repugnant, worms and maggots, soiled and infected, sickness and decrepitude. I felt revulsion to the core of my being. I am a loving, sensitive, sensual, strong, passionate kind lover. The devil, as is his nature, wanted to feel violated, abused, he wanted aggression, to be made to feel used and worthless, like the psycho whore he is. He needed to feel like he was being raped, something that had happened to him when he was a child. While professing his undying love to me, he was giving me sleeping pills, tranquilizers, GHB, anything in his tool box bar the cast iron frying pan, to knock me out at night so he could fornicate in my lounge with other men. When the truth of his actions began to be revealed, he ran like the coward he is, trying to blame me for his insidious actions. A month after he fled, he sent a minion to pay me a visit. The minion's visit was short lived, but the purpose of it was to belittle me by stealing a shirt the devil had given me with the word "Alpha" written on it.
If the devils interpretation of the word Alpha is force, abuse, violence, aggression or degradation, then I pity him. Alpha is strong, protective, loving, inspirational and a provider. In taking the shirt, the devil and his minion tried to diminish me, make me feel inadequate. By trying to invert everything I am, they tried to make me feel as worthless as they are. Almost made me contemplate taking my own life. This is the reason why I wondered if in Jesus' own betrayal, if He contemplated the same action. In coming to terms with the betrayal, I like Jesus, was confronted on a deep and brutal level, by the evil and wickedness that exists in the world. If I was asked, like Jesus did, to lay down my life and remove all the wickedness and evil from the world so that no child would endure such, would I? The answer would be without hesitation and unequivocally, YES!! Now that to me is being Alpha. Bearing that in mind, I sent the devil and his darkness a message - "You will know justice by my hand. I will not send a messenger. You fucked with the wrong guy. God have mercy on you!"
The betrayal instead of breaking me, has made me.It has ignited an inferno in me so huge and vast that even God himself is trembling. It has brought me back to who and what I am, and why I am here. I am a Warrior and Manifestor of God's Light, a child of the Devine Feminine. I came to raise the vibration, and level of consciousness on this planet, by anchoring my frequency to it. I too have become a Mighty Fortress, I will stand against evil and wickedness with conviction and determination. With strength of purpose, courage of heart and wisdom of mind, I will fulfill my life mission.
I implore every man, woman and child alive to find God's path, to accept Jesus Christ as your Saviour, like our brothers and sisters at the Mighty Fortress Church, and claim Salvation in Jesus' name.
God Bless You All!
PS: These are my own thoughts expressed and do not need to be proved or disproved. Just me sharing what goes on in my mind.
#starseed #pleiadian #blueray #iamthelight #alphaandomega #warrior
#timetofuckingshine #loveistheanswer #raisevibration #prethetree
#floweroflife #consciousness
Friday, 30 March 2018
Saturday, 17 March 2018
Spirit of Truth
My Spiritual Awakening occurred in 2012. It was my own apocalypse, a death of self and rebirth. The Spirit of Truth lifted the veil and gave me eyes to see the world as it truly is. It catapulted me onto a path of truth and discovery, for not just of who I am, why I am here, but why the world is the way it is. I came to know and understand the matrix we all live in. I lived Enlightened for 3 years after I had come into knowledge, however the burden of such and the lack of progress I thought I was making in my life, and that of others, began to wear me down. I, like Cypher, went back to sleep....I had become despondent, filled with despair, disillusioned, confused and thus, ultimately - lost. I discarded what had been revealed to me as fiction.
My spiritual depression was to take me back to the gates of hell. At the end of 2016 I was contemplating suicide. The futility of life and its seemingly meaningless existence brought me to my knees. I knew my HIV was taking a turn for the worse. I was suffering frequent bouts of oral thrush, other fungal outbreaks, and at my worst ebb I had been diagnosed with pneumonia. I had decided to help nature along and help my immune system crash. I did not want to start taking ARV's, instead I was using heavy amounts of recreational drugs, crystal meth was drug of choice, injecting steroids and boozing all the while dealing with my pneumonia. It was a low point from which I saw no light. I was alone and trapped in my own darkness.
I was only shaken awake by my clients, I'm a Personal Trainer by profession, and it was only on their insistence that I make a difference and am valued and needed in their lives, that I decided to turn the tide and begin ARV treatment. My CD4 count had dropped to 204 by the time I took the decision to medicate. However, I had not stopped my boozing or recreational drug use. I was for all intents and purposes still immersed in the matrix and it was going to take an earthquake in my life to wake me the fuck up again. Back in 2012 the Spirit of Truth had warned me that should I get involved, I would be hurt by such involvement. It was not so much a warning as it was a foretelling, and I would find that out the hard way.
From when the Spirit of Truth visited me that fateful night in October of 2012, I embarked on a voyage of awakening. I cleansed and purged my life of all negativity as far and wide as I could. I did as much self work as I thought was necessary, but as mentioned before, did not see the fruits of my labour. I had been single and celibate for 4 years and it was the loneliness and isolation from the world, that set me on a path of depression. Having come out of suicidal mode at the end of 2016, I decided that I was ready for a relationship in 2017. I felt renewed enough within myself to look for a life partner to love and be loved in return. I was to put the Spirit of Truth to the test and see if what I had been shown held water. As events of last year unfolded and have proved, it did.
The purpose of last year was to break me, to harden me. To use my strengths against me and shut me down. To make me never love myself or anyone else ever again. It was meant to damage me beyond repair. After having been so close to the edge of suicide, it was to be the final shove I had been hoping and looking for. It was to be my end. But it wasn't. Its done exactly the opposite. Through my healing and introspection, it has brought me back into The Light. It has emboldened me, strengthened me, reaffirmed and anchored me. What was to be my end, has become my beginning. Stepping into my power of Love, the gift that God has given me, my highest vibration, I am starting my journey of self mastery.
I have come to anchor my frequency to this planet, and that is exactly what the fuck I intend to do. I am a Warrior of the Light and nothing is going to stand in my way.
Let it begin....
#starseed #pleiadian #blueray #iamthelight #alphaandomega #warrior #timetofuckingshine #loveistheanswer #raisevibration #prethetree #floweroflife #consciousness
My spiritual depression was to take me back to the gates of hell. At the end of 2016 I was contemplating suicide. The futility of life and its seemingly meaningless existence brought me to my knees. I knew my HIV was taking a turn for the worse. I was suffering frequent bouts of oral thrush, other fungal outbreaks, and at my worst ebb I had been diagnosed with pneumonia. I had decided to help nature along and help my immune system crash. I did not want to start taking ARV's, instead I was using heavy amounts of recreational drugs, crystal meth was drug of choice, injecting steroids and boozing all the while dealing with my pneumonia. It was a low point from which I saw no light. I was alone and trapped in my own darkness.
I was only shaken awake by my clients, I'm a Personal Trainer by profession, and it was only on their insistence that I make a difference and am valued and needed in their lives, that I decided to turn the tide and begin ARV treatment. My CD4 count had dropped to 204 by the time I took the decision to medicate. However, I had not stopped my boozing or recreational drug use. I was for all intents and purposes still immersed in the matrix and it was going to take an earthquake in my life to wake me the fuck up again. Back in 2012 the Spirit of Truth had warned me that should I get involved, I would be hurt by such involvement. It was not so much a warning as it was a foretelling, and I would find that out the hard way.
From when the Spirit of Truth visited me that fateful night in October of 2012, I embarked on a voyage of awakening. I cleansed and purged my life of all negativity as far and wide as I could. I did as much self work as I thought was necessary, but as mentioned before, did not see the fruits of my labour. I had been single and celibate for 4 years and it was the loneliness and isolation from the world, that set me on a path of depression. Having come out of suicidal mode at the end of 2016, I decided that I was ready for a relationship in 2017. I felt renewed enough within myself to look for a life partner to love and be loved in return. I was to put the Spirit of Truth to the test and see if what I had been shown held water. As events of last year unfolded and have proved, it did.
The purpose of last year was to break me, to harden me. To use my strengths against me and shut me down. To make me never love myself or anyone else ever again. It was meant to damage me beyond repair. After having been so close to the edge of suicide, it was to be the final shove I had been hoping and looking for. It was to be my end. But it wasn't. Its done exactly the opposite. Through my healing and introspection, it has brought me back into The Light. It has emboldened me, strengthened me, reaffirmed and anchored me. What was to be my end, has become my beginning. Stepping into my power of Love, the gift that God has given me, my highest vibration, I am starting my journey of self mastery.
I have come to anchor my frequency to this planet, and that is exactly what the fuck I intend to do. I am a Warrior of the Light and nothing is going to stand in my way.
Let it begin....
#starseed #pleiadian #blueray #iamthelight #alphaandomega #warrior #timetofuckingshine #loveistheanswer #raisevibration #prethetree #floweroflife #consciousness
Sunday, 14 January 2018
I am
I am the only Son of Love. The physical manifestation and living proof of a Forbidden Love. I am the result of an illicit affair between two married parties, who were not married to each other. I am a bastard child.
My biological father never acknowledged me, and my namesake father abandoned me - he knew I was not of his seed, so I can't begrudge him that. I was born to a dysfunctional family and was the black sheep. I was different. I was a lone child. I was protected by one half-sibling, and bullied by another. We did not have it easy as a family. My mothers failed relationships, which emanated from the love she was denied, led her to alcoholism. She literally became a bar fly, finding joy in the bottom of a bottle, and numbing her pain, rather than dealing with her shit and moving on. My half-siblings, two sisters actually, left home by the age I was around 10, and I was left to fend for myself.
I grew up embarrassed about the way we lived. We had nothing. I never made friends or brought them round to my house for that reason. I could never rely on my mother for anything. If something had to be done I had to make sure I did it. I would get her bank card, draw cash, make sure the accounts were paid, food was bought and prepared, and made to ensure whiskey was available every night she got home. Invariably she would have picked up some random decrepit man, and brought him home with her too, which obviously pained me to see. I knew she deserved better.
During my childhood however, on occasion, perhaps twice a year, an "old friend" of my mothers would stop by, and take me to the local cafe to buy sweets. He'd spend an hour or two spoiling me, taking me to the park and just spending time with me. I was too young to understand the reasoning why he did this, other than to know he was someone my mother was friendly with back in the day. It was only when I was sixteen that I found out the truth about who he was, my natural father.
I knew I was different from an early age. I was wise beyond my years, understood matters a child is not supposed to know at a young age. I was, and still am, a loner. I was different to my siblings too. I felt my appearance and intellect separated me from them. I had an inner knowing that something about me was specific to me only. The urge to know eventually got me to ask my mother when I was 16. I literally asked her why I was different to my sisters and where did I come from. She had thought I'd overheard my aunts in conversation. The affair my mother had was quite the scandal within the family for years, I was completely oblivious to this fact. Anyway, as it turned out she told me that I was right, there was something, and that the man who I'd always thought was my father, was in fact not!
My real father, his name was Ronnie, I was told had died a year earlier. I had not seen him in years. The last time he visited I was 13. I did not feel relieved, but more validated to hear the truth. It did not change who I was, or make me better, or less than my sisters. I did not end up on a crusade to find my fathers family either, there would be no point to it, and I understood no good would come of it for anyone. It was better to let sleeping dogs lie.
What this has left me with is a strong, deep desire to be loved by another man unconditionally and uninhibitedly. Not having had a close, tight bonding experience with a male in my growing years has lead me to feel a void that needed to be filled. I searched for that light for 43 years. Searching for the light however, has always brought me heartache and pain. I never realised that what I was searching for, I was. That epiphany only dawned on me after my last horrific relationship. In rebuilding myself again, I came to understand that my weakest flaw, is my strongest attribute!
I am LOVE! I am of Source. I am of Creation. I do not need to look for anything outside of myself, for it lies within. I was conceived of love, and at the core of my essence lies love. I am not here to receive love, I am here to give love. That is my purpose. It is with this knowing and understanding that I now move forward with my life.
As a post on my Instagram told me today : "You are not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your Truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth and your raging courage". Alex Elle.
Another post says "Speak that shit into existence"..........and I plan to!
#starseed #pleiadian #blueray #iamthelight #alphaandomega #warrior #timetofuckingshine #loveistheanswer #raisevibration #prethetree #floweroflife #consciousness
My biological father never acknowledged me, and my namesake father abandoned me - he knew I was not of his seed, so I can't begrudge him that. I was born to a dysfunctional family and was the black sheep. I was different. I was a lone child. I was protected by one half-sibling, and bullied by another. We did not have it easy as a family. My mothers failed relationships, which emanated from the love she was denied, led her to alcoholism. She literally became a bar fly, finding joy in the bottom of a bottle, and numbing her pain, rather than dealing with her shit and moving on. My half-siblings, two sisters actually, left home by the age I was around 10, and I was left to fend for myself.
I grew up embarrassed about the way we lived. We had nothing. I never made friends or brought them round to my house for that reason. I could never rely on my mother for anything. If something had to be done I had to make sure I did it. I would get her bank card, draw cash, make sure the accounts were paid, food was bought and prepared, and made to ensure whiskey was available every night she got home. Invariably she would have picked up some random decrepit man, and brought him home with her too, which obviously pained me to see. I knew she deserved better.
During my childhood however, on occasion, perhaps twice a year, an "old friend" of my mothers would stop by, and take me to the local cafe to buy sweets. He'd spend an hour or two spoiling me, taking me to the park and just spending time with me. I was too young to understand the reasoning why he did this, other than to know he was someone my mother was friendly with back in the day. It was only when I was sixteen that I found out the truth about who he was, my natural father.
I knew I was different from an early age. I was wise beyond my years, understood matters a child is not supposed to know at a young age. I was, and still am, a loner. I was different to my siblings too. I felt my appearance and intellect separated me from them. I had an inner knowing that something about me was specific to me only. The urge to know eventually got me to ask my mother when I was 16. I literally asked her why I was different to my sisters and where did I come from. She had thought I'd overheard my aunts in conversation. The affair my mother had was quite the scandal within the family for years, I was completely oblivious to this fact. Anyway, as it turned out she told me that I was right, there was something, and that the man who I'd always thought was my father, was in fact not!
My real father, his name was Ronnie, I was told had died a year earlier. I had not seen him in years. The last time he visited I was 13. I did not feel relieved, but more validated to hear the truth. It did not change who I was, or make me better, or less than my sisters. I did not end up on a crusade to find my fathers family either, there would be no point to it, and I understood no good would come of it for anyone. It was better to let sleeping dogs lie.
What this has left me with is a strong, deep desire to be loved by another man unconditionally and uninhibitedly. Not having had a close, tight bonding experience with a male in my growing years has lead me to feel a void that needed to be filled. I searched for that light for 43 years. Searching for the light however, has always brought me heartache and pain. I never realised that what I was searching for, I was. That epiphany only dawned on me after my last horrific relationship. In rebuilding myself again, I came to understand that my weakest flaw, is my strongest attribute!
I am LOVE! I am of Source. I am of Creation. I do not need to look for anything outside of myself, for it lies within. I was conceived of love, and at the core of my essence lies love. I am not here to receive love, I am here to give love. That is my purpose. It is with this knowing and understanding that I now move forward with my life.
As a post on my Instagram told me today : "You are not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your Truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth and your raging courage". Alex Elle.
Another post says "Speak that shit into existence"..........and I plan to!
#starseed #pleiadian #blueray #iamthelight #alphaandomega #warrior #timetofuckingshine #loveistheanswer #raisevibration #prethetree #floweroflife #consciousness
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